The Fear of Being Seen as a Spiritual Entrepreneur 😶Oct 31, 2023
My fear of being seen as a healer was sooo obvious 😶 in the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey. I refused to show my face on Instagram and wrote it off completely as 'that is just not me'. When I listened more to my resistance, I realized it was less about me being true to who I am and felt more like an uncomfortable block 😑. In the back of my mind, I feared those few people from high school coming across my video and laughing their face off. I feared family members thinking I was out of mind for my spiritual thoughts and teachings. I was deeply afraid of being judged and shunned out 😳.
With the loving support of a friend, I posted my first IG story of a 'day in the life' and I loved every minute of it. For some reason, letting myself be seen in how intentional I had made my days living Ayurvedically felt super empowering. People were so interested in the benefits of tongue scraping and my whole morning routine. I loved sharing the why and how it has transformed me 🔥. I was hooked.
Now, as I look back at that terrified lil ole me 😢, it seems comical that I would be gut wrenching nervous to show up on my IG story 😂. But to say I am free of the fear of being seen would not be truthful. Like all deep, karmic wounds, this fear still shows up in more subtle ways.
Although I am not shy to the camera, a few months back, I noticed how much I was censoring my content to please the masses 🤭. Instead of sharing my exact experience with Ayurveda, I would share based on what I was told in the books and what would be perceived from certified Ayurvedic practitioners as 'correct'. I feared being called out as someone who is not qualified to be sharing Ayurveda, so I made sure to always cover my tracks 🦶🏻.
While I do believe in having proper education and credentials out of respect for such ancient wisdom , I was actually using it as a way to stand behind a foggy glass mirror ☁️. I didn't want to share how I was really using Ayurveda in my life, because I feared people would think I wasn't studying or practicing it properly. My diet was shifting to be more meat heavy as a way to heal my hormones. I was breaking certain food rules like eating fruit with my meals 😳 to ensure I had proper fiber intake. I started incorporating alcohol back into my life in moderation 🤯. I mean to anyone just studying Ayurveda, you would've thought I was UNHINGED 😱.
While all of these practices may seem unintentional, they were all actually supporting my healing journey. My iron deficiency required more meat 🥩 in my diet, specifically red meat. My intuitive body was actually the first to let me know with my chronic condition of amenorrhea and body's craving for meat again. I have learned that no matter how outlandish it sounds, when my body speaks, I listen. So I started eating meat again, and I felt my body come back to life again ✨. I had more stable energy, my hormones came back online and my digestion had never been better. I said 'c'est la vie' to 10 years of veganism 💚 and 'hello' to conscious, sustainable farming 😉.
Another desire I had again was drinking alcohol 🍾. Now, I know this conversation can lead to a slippery slope. For those who have addictions to alcohol, I am by no means promoting it. However, as someone who likes to hide behind identities that look pleasing to others and give them a cool name like 'sober', it was an area I needed to get curious on. I loved my two years of being sober as a way to reclaim my power and true connection to my body. However, I came to a point where I was depriving myself for all joy in my life just for the name of being 'the perfect healer' 😑. With proper boundaries, I have found that drinking on occasion or 1x per month actually brings me joy 💕 and makes me not take life so seriously. Who knows if I will keep this up, but for now, it feels true to who I am in this moment.
So what do these two scenarios have to do with the fear of being seen 🧐? It is interesting, because we can hide behind a lot of identities of what we think we need to be rather than just being honest on what is real for us right now. As healers of the world, it is easy to look at other successful entrepreneurs or role models and say 'that's it! I need to be like them!'. But your audience doesn't want the stereotypical, barbie version 🎀 of you. They want weird Barbie 🤪. ( I couldn't resist a good Halloween reference!) They want the part of you that messes up as a healer and owns it. Isn't that way more interesting than another healer who wears all white, doesn't eat meat and stays in meditating on the weekends 😏?
I know understanding how the fear of being seen shows up for you is NOT easy. We can really convince ourselves that we are being authentic! The truth lies in knowing your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual body very deeply. This is your intuition 😇.
Want support in learning where you are hiding in your business and be authentic AF for your community? Join my Vata Masterclass for Spiritual Entrepreneurs Wednesday, Nov 1st at 11am pst. It will be recorded for those who cannot make it LIVE.
In my Vata Masterclass, you will learn how to:
- identify the root fear holding you back in your business
- clear old habits that are draining your business
- focus on what unique goals and projects will grow your business
- organize your day to days to feel grounded and secure
Reserve your spot here and learn how to shine like the divine!